Busy busy busy

I have been a busy bee trying to job hunt and to work on a new project for potential publication. It's been fairly stressful, however, the sunshine has made it all that much more bearable. Job hunting down a main street thoroughfare has been a curse and a savior all in one. I get in my daily exercise just walking down the road but I also see that the town has been plagued with the wear and tear of retail injustice. There are way too many vacant stores around here. With the rebuild and revitalization of the town, one would think that businesses would ache to be a part of this growing area. Unfortunately, economically speaking, times are rough for the small 'Mom & Pop shoppes' and people just don't have the money. I look forward to the day when this whole area just finds a happy medium and settles back into the walking town it always was.

I have been trying to restructure myself into the focus of where my college degree was intended: Editing/Writing. I have set up a new page on Thumbtack.com where I will be accepting unfinished and unedited works to muddle through and rework them to their publishable end. Please take a look!

http://www.thumbtack.com/Guiding-Write-Editing-Lakewood-OH/service/979523

When alone, at least you have yourself

I have found that digging myself out of a funk alone is one of the hardest things to do. I have always had someone to talk to, but when all I have left is a significant other who isn't always around, and a cat, I am starting to feel like I am just sinking. Ever since I moved out of the family house, I feel like a complete stranger to them. I just feel like I am worthless in their eyes. I have nothing worthwhile to really live for. It hurts so much more than I can define. I just feel like I serve no purpose in the world. I just want to ball up and disappear.

I would love to remain positive. I just can't find anything positive about the life I'm leading. I have finally made my own choices and I just don't much feel like they will serve me any good. I have a dead-end job. I am again depending on someone else to get me by in life. I have nothing to say for myself. I just don't know where to go. I don't know who to depend on. I don't know who to talk to. I wish life was easier.

I am tired of the tears and having to explain why I'm upset. I am tired of being nothing but broken. I wish I could figure it all out. I just have no place to go anymore. I sort of feel like if I were to disappear today, no one would go looking for me. Hell, no one would even notice.

Exploring beyond logical reason

I recently went to the Shawshank prison ghost tour at the Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield, Ohio. It was exciting because it's beyond my sense of understanding. To be able to speak to, react to, physically and emotionally feel and understand the realm of paranormal activity present is well past anything that can be truly defined by words alone. I went on the tour with what I wanted to believe was an open mind, and despite my apprehension, I left my mind open to anything.

When I first arrived, I went off on a guided tour around the prison. Our guide spoke of what each room we visited was meant for in real use and what it was used for in the movie, Shawshank Redemption. Within the first 15 minutes of the tour, I received my first sign of potential life. Standing with my boyfriend, I felt a gentle poke to my left hip/buttock area. I looked over at my boyfriend standing at my left, thinking that maybe he was flirting with me, but I realized his right arm was over my shoulder and his left arm was at his side. I looked over to my right and no person was standing within 5 feet of me. I shook it off and told the guide. She said that there had been reports of activity in that room.

Throughout that entire tour, I personally encountered a total of three, possibly four signs of paranormal activity, from the poke, a slight brush against my pant leg, a shadow figure passing and the most blaring of all signs, a welted scratch mark across my left hand. I found the scratch after passing through and exploring the west cell block of the prison. Once I reached the central meet-up point, I went to the restroom and found it while washing my hands. I came back to the room to show my boyfriend. He examined it, as well as the glove I had been wearing. There was no damage or marking on the glove. (As a side note, it was very cold within the prison and the glove I speak of is one in a pair of winter gloves)

This trip, although awkward in my novice experience of any paranormal investigations, was eye opening and exciting all the same. I look to entertain the idea on expanding my explorations and write about them.

prologue

I have spent much of my life writing my ails in the form of diary or journal pages and it wasn't until fairly recently that I found my writing to not serve the purpose I always sought out for it. I have always been the friend people would go to for advice and more often than not, my advice (when actually followed) followed with positive outcomes. I finally took the leap from the adviser to the advised and started this page.

I hope that the following pages can and will help anyone seeking out a word of advice, a positive nudge or even just that little helpful voice that nags your every move. Allow my words to provide that courage for a new opportunity. I look forward to growing and learning along with you. Just take my hand and we'll work through it all together! I can't wait to hear from you and I'd love to answer any of your questions or concerns!

I'm Kristin, it's nice to meet you and I can't wait to let this new opportunity unfold!